The Potential to Be Happy

I just started my first week here at college, and things are becoming increasingly less overwhelming as the days go on. I’ve made a few friends, I think- not quite of the type that I can cry on their shoulders, but I think of the type I can text to hang out. Maybe.

One of the things about not doing a pre-orientation program is that it seems like everyone already has so many friends- like they’ve been friends forever. And yes, although I objectively know that this isn’t true, watching people (watching people fake it?) is really demoralizing at times. BUT I have met a few people at dinners, or in my hall, or just by sitting down next to a random person at breakfast (look at me being bold!) who it seems like I could really click with, so I’m feeling a lot less bad. Then again, it is probably worth waiting to see what my classes are, because probably these are the people I will see more often.

Yesterday morning I had my language placement tests, and these were a moment of calm in a crazy storm. Something about getting a packet of paper with Russian grammar questions and essays to write made me take a deep breath and relax. That says I’m a nerd, right? The 3 other people I took the test with also seemed super cool, so yay for that! And then there was a 10 minute oral section (which basically was me just explaining how I learned Russian) which was honestly so much fun and relaxing and I appreciated when the two people examining me tried to talk about my score behind my back but I SECRETLY understood every word of it.

I placed into 4th year Russian, so that’s exciting! I saw the department chair at the academic fair and he was super excited to meet me/impressed by my Russian fluency, so yay for that too.

The Spanish test went significantly less well but it’s okay, I guess. I think the proctor there thought, “you did two APS and THIS is how you speak?” but alas.

Today I had my meeting with my pre-major advisor (quote from he, who I’m pretty sure is from St. Petersburg: “why do you even want to study Russian anyway”) and prepared my classes for my registration. Right now I’m just hoping that I get the classes I want.

Then I went to meet with the guy I want to research with. He wasn’t there, so I met with another person in the lab, but the lab’s work is SO COOL. Cooler than their papers suggest, and their papers were already pretty cool. And the lady I met with showed me all of her work and let me touch things and wow I tried to ask all my questions and she could definitely tell I was fascinated by everything that was going on so hopefully I get the chance to work there because WOW. (I liked that she seemed to indicate excitement the same way I do: by big eyes and not speaking. Sometimes that doesn’t come through as excitement but she got it.)

Then I went to Shabbat services, which turned out to be in the woods (I’m a FAN) and dinner, which was not in the woods but nonetheless delicious. I met a lot of cool people at dinner and ate a lot of good food and heard a really wonderful acapella group, which I’m going to say was maybe one of the best acapella groups I’ve heard at my college, which is saying something because I’ve heard like 8 and I’ve been here 2 days.

Look at how cozy!

So yeah. Definitely people here exist with friend potential (although not everyone, of course) and I’m so excited for classes to start and to get my schedule.

Also I have so much freedom! I can literally do whatever I want. For a rule follower like me, this is a big thing. Noone is telling me what to do (except they are, because it’s Orientation). I walked off campus to get to the research lab and didn’t break any rules! Except I still felt slightly guilty. But I didn’t break any rules! And I found the Medford Public Library.

So things feel slightly off kilter and still like summer camp, but I like studying/having something to do with myself, so this should go away by Tuesday.